May 1, 2010

Sometimes i feel like I'm fighting a battle alone.

Andrew says he is there fighting with me, that he isn't going anywhere, that he loves me too much to walk away. But I feel like I'm going through a test... What do I need to do? I get multiple choice questions, and i feel like no matter what answer i give, its the wrong one.

I just want to have my happy family back.

I wish for one day, we could wake up happy, and go to bed that night the same way.

Now I sit here and wonder, if that will ever happen.

I sit here and look at my ring, and wonder, if that's still what he wants. Don't get me wrong, he keeps telling me it is, but... actions and words, you know?

I can sit there and try to do everything right, but there is always something i do or say wrong. I know we both have a lot going on right now. I miss my family, and he feels like it is his fault.

The truth is, there has never been anything said or done for them to not like him. All i know is, if i find out some ill shit was said, i would never forget that person, be it someone I know, or someone I don't.

I just don't understand... they never met Andrew, never seen him, never sat down and talked to him, never shared a meal with him. They don't know him, yet they don't like him. Why?

What sense does that make?

Someone please try and help me to understand this...