Just an old Poem I wrote back in Feb of 2009

Waiting....


Has my heart not hung heavy for you?
Have I not laid down and waited in patience?
Yet still my pillow is dampened with my tears.

You promised that love would come soon,
You promised me that happiness would come.
I can no longer be consumed by this void.

My arms are heavy from holding myself up,
My hands are weak from holding each other.
My heart is sore from skipping beats when we goes by.

Dare I speak out of turn?
Shall he think I am weak?
Does he glance my way for interest or confusion?

When will my questions be answered?
Have I not waited out long enough?
Have I not sat still in bed when I heard others calling?
Have I not saved myself from the lovers who beckoned me to their beds?
Did I not surrender myself to you and promise to wait for the lover YOU would send?

Tell me my time is coming,
Tell me he will call for me soon.
Tell me that he thinks of me from time to time,
Tell me that my hours wasted on him,
The images of him in my head;
Tell me the time i spend gazing at him is not n vein.

For if I should spend one more year alone,
My heart shall fail to seek his love.
Then where, oh God, shall that leave him?


Tell my lover to wait,
Tell him someone else waits, the same way he does,
Do not let him stray from what he has not yet known.
For if he does not know of your plans for he and I yet,
Then assure his heart something good is coming,
And I will promise to keep my bed bare in white sheets.

But if all this is done in vein,
If you do not have the plans for me to be loved,
Then strike my heart with a cold stone,
So that I might be softened to those who do not make my breath heavy.
Let me accept those I could never love,
So that at least part of my heart,
The part that longs to care for someone;
The part that long to cares for a family,
May find pleasure, and fulfillment.

If I may not know the love of a man,
At least let me give my love to one.