baby your my everything.....

I had someone tell me one time, "people fuck up for a reason." Now I get it.

The last 8 months of my life were a whirlwind of emotions and ups and downs, and I sit back and wonder what I did wrong. I gave and gave and gave, and never got anything, or asked for anything in return. Sometimes I feel like I was used. If i didnt give in, i was manipulated to feel like the other person didnt matter, and God knows I would do anything for anyone. So the fact that someone thought I didnt care, made me bust my ass to show them I did.

Well, life changes, and mine did.

I cant explain the way I feel now, Im picky about the words I use. But I guess Love really sums it up.
I went from someone who didn't care unless things were being done for them, to someone who would never ask for anything, and genuinly appreciates when I do things. Someone who offers to do everything for me. He knows he doesnt have to, but I can look in his eyes sometimes and I can see everything.

Do you know what it feels like to appreciate a look on someones face?
Having to turn away because your blushing and can feel the smile spread across your face?

Have you ever gone to a store, and someone tried to talk you into buying something? Maybe a new laptop, or digital camera? They start to tel lyou all the features, and you eventually talk yourself into buying it, even though you know its not really what you want? Then you take it home and realize that all those things the salesperson told you were loads of crap?

Yea, that pretty much sums up my last relationship.

Now, have you ever walked into a room filled with people and things, but there is that one person who you cant tak eyour eyes off of. Someone that everyone is looking at, but your eyes cant move; your frozen.

You can see them, and they can see you, but you know in your heart you dont stand a chance. Still though, its nice to look. After all you have just been through, you have the right to have a girls night out, smiling and laughing, and flirting.
But is that it? no...

Things are so different with Andrew...
Our eyes danced away from one another so many times, I tihnk we were both scared to make eye contact. I looked like shit, and still swear I didnt have a chance with him; but I cant tell you why he wouldnt look at me.

But I can tell you this...

The week after that was amazing. Walks in the park, holding hands, driving around with him in the driver seat, never knowing when the next kiss was coming, the look in his eyes that make me feel like the center of the world.

Its the things he says, the way he says them, the way it feels when he dols me in his arms.

Its finally knowing that you found the one God made fo ryou, and not having to try and make yourself believe it.

I always thought life was about finding someone you could be happy with, and then making yourself fall in love withthem so you didnt have to be alone.

I was so wrong.

Life is about dealing with all the crap that throws you to rock bottom, only to have your Prince Charming, or Superman, come scoop you up, and hold you in the arms God made just for you.

I'll admit im scared, but I refuse to run. Ive never felt this way about someone before;
I have heard peopel talk abotu it, I have tried to convince myself I felt that way so I didnt have to be alone, but, to feel those feelings, and not have control over them, its scarey and exciting all at the same time....